It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
my penis made a compromise with my morals
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
