How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
