You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
