She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
