We're like a lot better than the average bears
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
