I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
