saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
