Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
