dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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