the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
