I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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