yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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