no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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