i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm too high and old for this...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
