Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
