Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
