My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
