How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You've changed since you got that strap on
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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