sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
