During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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