It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's get the cat blown out
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
