He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
