Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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