Christians are straight up FREAKS
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
