Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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