i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
