I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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