the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
