white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
