You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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