My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
