I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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