Already got asked if we're dating
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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