allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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