I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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