Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
