Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
