There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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