i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
