Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
