problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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