And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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