I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
