I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
