WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
True college students do jello shots in the library
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
