I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
