If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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