so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i think im in europe. pls send help
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
