I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
