it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
