I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
